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By: sherryn m heath

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Sunday, 14-Jul-2013 12:59 Email | Share | | Bookmark
Salam Ramadan

Selamat berpuasa semua


Monday, 4-Feb-2013 15:58 Email | Share | | Bookmark
Feeling very tired .....

This morning when I woke up felt very tired... But had to get up coz have to sent two kiddies to school .
After both gone to school I go straight to work.. Do bla bla bla..I went home..just feel so tired. I don't know why felt so tired..
At home start cooking & tidy up a bit.the house not that messy.
A part from tired I feel peaceful inside.. Don't know why.

Tomoro going to see AS for the last time..how I'm going to feel ? Definitely going to be sad .AS came to my life when I needed the most.i like working with AS..easy going & we understand each other.


Friday, 1-Feb-2013 04:13 Email | Share | | Bookmark
Thank You !

I wud like to say tq to AS. U r the most important person that made the different in my life. I met u 6 weeks ago...in such short of time u managed to change me to what I'm today... I'm so grateful to u... U gave me strength that I didnt know I had b4. U help me believing in my self & rely on my self...for that I'm eternally grateful to u...Allah send u to me when no one cares...not even my nearest & dearest...for years my feeling been battered... My idea, my opinion not valued... Now everything I will make it count....as u taught me. I love u AS." Be mature. Go on with ur life quietly & firmly. Remember u have so much potential. U are loved.u need to love ur self. U need to take care of ur self.as what Katie wakelin said u been betray by ur love one... He shud protect u but he failed deliberately & he protect others becoz he doesnt care about u. As what he said.." u r insignificant little shit"
AS I will always remember u as caring & kind nature. I hope to see u again & I know it is impossible..but to me everything is possible...thank u for believing in me

Dear God...last dec 15 2011... Something happened to me...that I never imagined that ever will happened to me however it did happen & I prayed & prayed & prayed to You that I made that promise one day I will prove it to those people who doubted me and those who call me a liar that I'm not a liar and I will show to them who " she really is( the person that my beloved in love with..& betray me) ...for every single pray that I ask u ....u show it to me & u granted to me some of em . ya Allah u r the Greatest ... Dec 15. 2011 will always be the most significant date in my life...( since then nature taught me about true love...if u love someone u don't hurt them..just like him protect her to the end..but sad for me I love the wrong man who I love &but he in love with someone else) ooo well.. Don't matter now...the most important I was honest & truly love him even thought he doesn't love me back again..it's does hurts but I hope one day someone wil come to my life and truly love me & appreciate me who I am.( sob2)

Now2... Remember what AS taught u??? Stop feeling sory for ur self....he already show u who he is remember ???? Ok2... Well hard sometime I've been betrayed & hurts badly

Ooo well..maybe I'm not black enough, my bum not big enough,my lips not thick enough,or maybe I don't know how to be as what AS describe" worly wildly"... Hmmm mm

Ok I've been ranting on now...start think positive..not the end of the world..accept the fact that he doesnt love u anymore he is in love with someone else !!!! Ok2 I get it...I know it not going to kill me..not. As what Charteow said...u either sink or swim and she chose to swim..so I have to do the same...loooo God !! I can't swim ( well u shud learn then didn't u ?)

Sometime when Allah tested on me....I just hope that i have enough strength .ok start focus now.....aiya manyak feeling sory for urself aaaa No good Hmm so what if that is how I feel ATM ?

Till next time..tatatitituutuuu


Thursday, 31-Jan-2013 05:10 Email | Share | | Bookmark
Reflect

I went to see AS on Tuesday morning... Discuss few things including " worly wildly" whatever that mean???
My work with AS wil finish soon and after that I'm unable to see AS again ever.. This make me very sad. AS help me a lot in da past few month since I needed someone to talk to and dire of desperate .

AS told me focus and Cary on what I already have and be mature in myself. No more scoring point and focus on me not anybody anymore.. Too much hoping the love from someone but in a matter of fact I have it in me. Do what I have to do to get where I wanna be..in my toko. Membanting tulang di toko and don't take ur eyes out... Do quietly & firmly.
We talk about connection... According to As I wud not getting any respect and love bcoz of being " own" instead of equal... So I understood. She told me I have soo much potential... So I hold on to As word and believing in my self again. I don't it b4 without anyone and I can do it again.. Infact I'm in better place than b4. Gather thoseeople who cares and love me as I'm not as what they want me to be.

When we talk about our eventuality that we will parted in a few week... It made me sad as I see AS as a person that hold my torch to show me the light... The thought that I will never see AS again is hard but I understand our circumstance.. It's professional connection in which I needed help. Throughout we always be professional .we have mutual respect with each other. Words of wisdom I needed the most. AS said to me... " when things are hard think that I'm with u & alway be there even thought u can't see me or touch me I'm there next to u & watch u fly on ur own wing" that make me tears....

Thing happened for a good reason..eventhough that time u think not good but at the end that is the best thing for u...as I looked back.. I'm glad it happened the way it happen.. To wake me up who I'm & the way Allah wanted to show me something...I.e new chapter in my life that I have to go through..I'm more aware who I'm now then b4. I rely on myself more and only me can make it happen when I wanna make it happen.

I show AS the symbolic of " piece of cloth after wipe,clean & dirty & used" AS understood me.AS has taught me a lot in very short of time..I had to grow fast & move fast ....
AS asked few questions that I needed to find my own answer.. Why did I??
Where is that girl.

At the same day I meet up again with this girl wel she is not a girl she is mature lady 60.. She said something to me as she know what trouble me.. Her words of wisdom gave me a strength that day and made me thingking " yeah..she's right what stopping me ??? I'm just as good as anyone else and more capable compare to some and yet again why I let it happen??? Arrrghhh...
I have a good lesson on last Tuesday ...I'm glad I went to see these people...make me think I'm not alone.. And I know I'm loved... Mayb not from.. But love is there for me to grab it with both arms.. I might be no family but have more than enough care that I have received since " dark day". I know I'm a good and honest person.. I don't take what is not mine and I never doubt that the truth will reveal itself and what's goes round comes round..it's only a matter of time... See if u not honest and tell lies.. The lies will reveal itself..I always say and value those people who is with me from the start gone through hard and tears.. Rather come along after everything is good ..and took the credit... But sadly to some people this come natural to claim something not even belong to them...scumm

Well this is my rant of the day... Ooohhh I forgot AS said " don't expect anything... Expectation in this...not going to happen..yeahhhhh I get it .....so I don't expect...what wil be wil be......thanks AS. I'm going to miss u.. U r the best
I hope u enjoy ur hols..
Carolina.Sarah ,Maria,kelise,tick& becky ,Carole u made my day we have sooooo much laugh...see u next time.insyaAllah .





Saturday, 26-Jan-2013 09:11 Email | Share | | Bookmark
Saturday 26.1.2013

Aiya today actually this morning very cold .I look out the window and very icy. So went back to bed.. Not to sleep just sat under duvet for warmness and escape from lazy & cold.

Just wanna tel u about yesterday.. Very sejuk yesterday morning I attended a funeral as been agreed and arranged. During the service this thought come to my mind when his son( dead dad) said that my father never hold any grudges to anybody bla bla bla.. I was thingking "yeah he is a great man". After that I drove home .. On the way I thought I just wanna sedekah this lady ( she just lost her husband) some nice little cakes to cheer her up. So I stopped at Birds to buy some cakes and I brought it to her and we sat and ate with cuppa tea.. Hoping that she is ok and well. She love the cakes that the most important thing for me that she enjoy it. After that I go home. On my way home I recite this surah from Quran that I learned the day b4 from one of ustaz through Internet .. UtubeTo be precise !

In this "tanyalahUstaz" I was listening to this subject when u visit or attend the funeral u read this surah it call surah atTariq ayat 4.the ayat very simple & short & easy to memorise. So I was busy memorising this ayat bcos as my preparation in future if I happen to visit anyone ill or dead or if I lalu grave or anything that Ada syaitan.. As u know syaitan everywhere kan... So u just read / baca lah this ayat insyaAllah u feel lighter on ur body.

Lately I listen a lot to ilmu agama & learn more what in Quran ... I know some people think " ahh it just mambo jumbo " wel they can think that but I'm truly believe in it..

Hmmm in dire need a loooo .. Be right back ...

Okeh Let continue..
Where was I ? O yeah I was talking about this surah in Quran.. ( I'm not a religious person.. Honestly )
Anything my eyes very sleepy la ATM don't know why.. I think I wanna take a nap just to kill this sleepiness coz I keep on yawning so see u after my napping ok


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